"Sometimes the dull detritus of our pasts become glaring strands once you realize they form a pattern, a lighted path to the present."

–Carrie Brownstein, Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl: A Memoir, 2015

Mind Games

Ellen always tells me, "You don't need to be Sigmund Freud to interpret your dreams," and she's right. The unfinished school paper, the forgotten class, the phone that will not work … these are all classic dreams for someone who's personality looks like this:... read more

You Gotta Move

It's Day 5 of Gray and Gloomy here in the 'Lou, and the wind is picking up and the rain is falling and the temperature is falling, so my thoughts turn internal. Not that that should be news to anyone. I am inwardly focused to a fault, and yet curiously concerned with... read more

Thought I'd Something More to Say

For Christmas 1981 or '82, my sister gave me Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. That New Year's Day it snowed, and snowed and snowed and snowed, and I remember sitting on the beanbag in her bedroom, listening. It was easy to imagine–as the heartbeat fade-in... read more

Resolutions: 10 Verbs for 2018

For this new year's resolutions, I'm giving up on quantification ("Read X books a month") and abstraction ("Live more simply"). Instead, I just have list of 10 verbs to focus on off and on throughout the year–nothing to complete, no real goal, and no particular... read more

The Incident

Because Monday is a holiday this week, I'm taking a break from my usual Monday memoir piece. What follows is a kind of Christmas story–except it doesn't take place at Christmas, or even in winter. I wrote it for school in the fall of 1984 and introduced it to my... read more

Dead Things, A Triptych, Part II: Eggs

Dead Things, A Triptych, Part I: Lightning Bugs God started taking my mother's voice around 1980. This was my 14-year-old perception: God was taking her voice. At the end of that year, Mark David Chapman shot and killed John Lennon outside his New York City home. So... read more

Dead Things, A Triptych, Part I: Lightning Bugs

If the creek that flowed 100 yards east of our front door was my childhood's lifeblood, the concrete and limestone bridge that crossed the stream was its heart. The bridge had been built sometime between the 1950s or '60s and eternity. The north side served as a dam.... read more

In Loco Parentis

A while ago a colleague asked me what being a parent was like. I was having a bad parenting day and immediately said, "Oh, it's awful!" She laughed, but later I felt bad about it. What if being a parent was her dream? What if she'd been struggling for years to be a... read more

Love and Hope and Sex and Dreams

As anyone who has read my blog over the past year or so knows, I try to keep my posts short while I explore the deeper meaning of things. A music review or thoughts about running are portals to ways I make sense of the world around me. Since I launched the blog in... read more

Sorting It All Out: The Many Meanings of Life

The answer to the question "What is the meaning of life?" is elusive for at least two reasons. The first is obvious: there is no one meaning. What life means is up to each individual to determine. But more importantly, it's elusive because people tend to look for it... read more